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Nativedreams here :)
First blog !!! Tonight’s been a rough night , it’s two thirty in the morning . I’m typing with puffy eyes and salty cheeks . This long night started with a very physical altercation with my dad . Now let me paint a picture for you , I’m 19. Me and my mother have a very close relationship . We are best friends . However me and my dad are not . I live at home for the sake of my moms sanity . She can’t stand him and that’s a whole nother story . My dad knows that all I ask is to respect the privacy of my room and don’t go in it . Intentionally he goes in my room . While I on the other hand am in the living room clearly viewing this . I told him to get out of my room . Apparently that’s worth violence . He came storming out into the living room, he hits me in my face , pushes me down and I push him away and he pushes me harder . Now there is a history between me and my ….. Well chuck if not getting along . More so him abusing me to feel in control . I told him if this hadn’t ceased I would call the cops . So this time I did . I hyperventilate when I’m really upset . So when the cops showed up I could barely breathe . 3 officers showed up , one told me to go outside with him , so I explained my part of the story . Very cold out he told me to sit in his patrol car to get warm. I did . Teary eyed I called my boyfriends house , he was out for the afternoon but his mom was home . In the meantime one of the other officers shows up by the patrol car . Again he ask me to explain what had happened and I do. This officer on the other hand talked with my ….. Chuck and agreed with him. Saying I’m a disrespectful child who deserves to be put in her place I live in his home and act like a 12 year old . So I look up at the officer . “So you’re saying i deserve to get beat on ?” . He says “no I’m saying if your disrespectful he can be disrespectful back “. Now there was alot more said and I quickly went from sad to angry. How can this be that the officers who are supposed to protect civilians thinks this okay ? I went inside the house , they followed, there was an officer standing between my father and I. The officer who said I deserved it continued to speak saying I was acting because no one cries thirty minutes after an inccident and no one hyperventilated to that point . They made fun of me because I don’t have a job which I had one . I had to resign because my anxietys so bad I can barely go in public places without freaking out. They made fun of me for not knowing my social security number because my mom has my card not me . I’ve been humiliated . I got bullied in high school and middle school , and the abuse of chuck. I’ve been told I can’t achieve my dreams . I have never however been made fun of by authority of law or felt helpless like i did tonight . The one officer offered to drive me to my boyfriends because one of us had to leave the house . On the journey there he told me he and his 16 year old daughter don’t talk and it hurts . He said this incident really hit home. He said I should make amends with my dad and dropped me off . I have him a hug goodbye just for the fact it was nice of him to drop me off.

Questions :

Am I moving out ? I’m not sure .
My mother is going to file for divorce and we may live together.

…. However this story isn’t sad.
I have god in my life. That’s a joy nothing can take away. His love is special.
I pray for the officers relationship with his daughter .
However me and my dads is unmendable . This started since I was born he told my mother I was her responsibility , that she was supposed to discipline me, he wanted no part. I’m done with this situation . But I’m looking forward to the future .

But still shocked by the cops ….

But still looking forward :)

But still shocked …

FORWARD ;)

Xoxo -K